Birthday Fun & Paying The Price

It’s hard to believe a week ago today I turned 29. My facebook and phone was going crazy with birthday wishes, I spent the morning quietly as had plans for the evening and didn‘t want to be too tired for it, Stef made me a bacon and egg sandwich and then helped me have a bath. We decided to venture out of the house for an hour or two to get some fresh air, we weren’t sure on where to go so we just drove! We had a look around Fermoys as hadn’t been over there in a while and then took a drive over to Paignton where I suggested we should go and have a drink in the Half Moon, where we had our wedding reception the year before. It was only about 1pm so was very quiet inside the pub, but Christine the owner recognised me straight away and sat with us for a while to have a chat. It was nice to sit there and reminisce about our special day. We soon made our way home so I could rest up before we went out in the evening.

Our friend Darren picked us up and dropped us off at Oceans Drive, in Torquay. A really quirky little restaurant that is filled to the brim of memorabilia of Titanic, Musical Influences, and all things American. They have huge life like statues dotted about the place of celebrities like Elvis Presley, Marylyn Monroe and even one of the Empire State Building. I’ve only ever been there for a drink before, we had never eaten but heard that it was really good so I couldn’t wait to order as had also starved myself that day!
I also said to Stef that I wanted to try different things, we rarely get to go out for a nice meal like this so I thought if we were doing it we might as well do it properly and I wanted to pick something new, as I always go for the safe options. I hate fish. I can eat prawns but it’s the only sea food I will eat, I can’t even eat battered cod from the chippie, it just makes me urge. However, something told me that night to try something new and originally looking at the menu we were going to try the scallops in garlic & cream sauce. Surprise surprise, that was the one thing they didn’t have in that night! So I talked Stef into ordering the Moules Marinaire (mussels) which was in the same sauce with French bread on the side, we also ordered a goats cheese crostini and shared both the starters. The portions were huge! There were about 10-12 mussels in this huge bowl, the sauce was amazing and although the goats cheese starter was nice I preferred the mussels! I was really quite surprised with myself, and pleased! Maybe now I won’t be so fussy and turn a blind eye to everything that is a little bit different…

For my main I did stick to my favourite though as it was my treat after all, and had a minted lamb rump with roasted veg and butter crushed potatoes, Stef surprised me ordering mozzarella chicken over a nice juicy steak! Both meals were massive but amazing, neither of us could finish the entire plate but we did have a bloody good try! We had a few drinks with our meals, but we were so stuffed by the times Darren came and collected us again, we got home and wanted to head straight to bed for a good nights sleep.
I had lots of beautiful gifts and lovely cards from friends and family. Zante, my pastel ball python was my early gift from Stefan, but the babies were also able to get me a new pair of playboy slipper boots and a special card with a message from each of them in it too! I had flowers delivered, a beautiful CF bracelet, some vouchers, a pink playboy personalised sash to wear out, my true blood series 4 DVD, some snakey things, including a huge framed picture that I can hang on the wall and I bought these fab motorcycle boots off EBay with some money given to me by family, so I was very lucky!

My New Motorcycle Boots

I spent Saturday resting, getting on with my iv’s and treatments as we had plans for the evening again. We were picked up around 4.30pm by our friend Adam (who I like to call Football head from the children’s TV programme Hey Arnold, why you ask?! Because I think he has an unusually large head!) and we headed off, bottles of alcohol in hand over to Adam’s house that he shares with his girlfriend Leah. Emily, Adam’s sister also joined with her boyfriend Dave, and Leah’s brother Lee John! We had the music blaring, shots being downed and generally just a fun but quiet! Night in…. Stef and I got home by taxi just before midnight, although he can’t seem to remember very much, and some parts of the night are still a blur to me, but I do remember them bringing in slices of cake and singing Happy Birthday bless them!

Me & The Girls

Leah & I

Emily & I

Sunday, the rain had stopped and the sun was out and Stefan had the mother of all hangovers… I started the morning rubbing his back as he threw up down the loo! We were going to my mums for a roast about half two in the afternoon but I needed to get out the house before then, I didn’t want Stef to drive I just wanted to sit out in the sun and have some fresh air, it had been so long since I was able to do that and my lungs were crying out for the breeze. I thought it would help Stef also before he had to become human again in time to see the family! He wheeled me round to the shop to get his hangover must have’s about 8 ‘Mr Freeze’ ice pops! And then we went and sat in our local community garden just down the road from the house. It was nice to feel the sun again, this weather has been really getting me down lately. Stef had to fill up my oxygen again and then we headed out towards my mums, as he dropped me by the door so he could go and park, my sister came out with a huge grin on her face that kind of scared me a little, then I saw two friends approaching me, Jo and Jason, with a gift in hand. They must have thought I was rude as hell, as all I said is what the hell are you guys doing here and where the fuck is Stef, he’s taking ages!!

I was led out into the garden where there wasn’t plans for a roast at all but a nice big bbq and Lauren had invited a few friends over to join us. I thought it was such a lovely idea. It had been ages since I had caught up with Jo and Jason, and despite having a really bad back they still came and spent the afternoon with us. My more mature friends (good friends with my mum) Mike & Linda joined us too and then Brian who I used to work with at Riverford years ago and hadn’t seen him for so long. It was great to have these friends come out and want to share the afternoon with me. The food was good, I was still able to drink a few glasses of wine despite the night before and we were all having a giggle, mainly at my mum as she was rather drunkard already….
My oxygen didn’t last as long as I would have wanted it too, but we all left around the same time, and I felt completely wiped out so was back home in my pj’s around half six. The afternoon had been great and although I started to feel quite poorly I was so glad I was able to make the most of it.

Monday I rested completely, but as the day went on and I started to feel more unwell, Mike and Linda who had been at my birthday bbq had arranged to take me for a birthday lunch on the Tuesday and I did not want to miss it. I did everything I could to get my energy levels up a bit more so I would be able to enjoy the afternoon with them. They picked me up by taxi and took me to the Waterside Bistro, they ordered me lots of wine, a yummy starter of duck pancakes and then a great big fat juicy steak for my main. I was sooo full, and my chest was struggling but I had the nicest afternoon. I do have a giggle with them both especially Mike as we are both so honest and up front about things, I felt very spoilt and was so grateful to them for taking me out.
Since then, sadly things have gone from bad to worse, my chest is full of crap that I’m finding hard to shift, I can barely make myself a cup of tea without getting into a state.

I had a very bad day yesterday as was at the hospital again seeing my CF nurse and then having an ultrasound (to do with my uterus). I felt awful in the morning and there had already been a mix up with my transport, so they couldn’t confirm until that day when and if I had a lift up, finally they called at 10am to say a driver was on his way from Exeter there and then so I was pretty relieved that I had already got myself together. I struggled throughout the whole appointment, with hot and cold sweats, coughing fits I couldn’t control, it just felt like my chest was in a vice and slowly being clamped together with every wind of the handle. My CF nurse came with me to my ultrasound which I was so grateful for as I was worried about the outcome but thankfully, although a little uncomfortable, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was all done and dusted by 2.30pm and waiting again for my transport home which I had been told that morning was booked for that time… I watched the clock tick, my phone battery was getting flatter and I was struggling to breathe and just wanted to be home. At half four a taxi was finally called to collect me as transport had not been booked and although I kept asking the reception to ring and check, they couldn’t get hold of the person responsible. I was finally in the taxi on my way home and got back just after half 5, I just wanted to break down and cry, for the second week in a row it had happened just the same as before and I don’t understand why, I was sooo tired I could barely keep my eyes open, I felt so ill and Stef said I looked absolutely drained, it was the last thing I needed that day. I had a really crap night, I couldn’t wait to go to bed as felt so exhausted I could sleep for a week but my lungs just wouldn’t let me rest. My breathing was so fast and shallow, I had sharp stabbing pains every time I moved, I was hot, then freezing and had this constant slimy crap at the back of my throat. I have no plans for the entire weekend and for once I am thankful. I really don’t think I am in any state to go anywhere or see anyone. I just want to curl up and close my eyes. I just want to breathe.

Monday was the start of National Transplant Week, all over the nation people are trying to get the word out of how important signing up to the organ donor register is. One of my fellow Cfer’s, Gemma, made an awesome picture (below) and several of us have got it as our profile pictures, these are only a few of the thousands of people that have had or desperately need a transplant. There is only a few days left and the media are covering a wide range of stories all over the papers, television and internet, so I hope you have all spotted something somewhere and if you have never thought about joining before, this could be a great time to do it now.

Pass It On - National Transplant Week 2012

I had a wonderful birthday weekend with special people, I felt extremely lucky to have enjoyed what I did, it’s just a shame that now I am paying the price for a few hours a day (not even full days) of fun, I have a feeling this time next year I may not be so lucky if my call doesn‘t come soon.
　
Thank you for reading… xxx