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Monday, 4 December 2017

New York - The City That Never Sleeps



I'm not doing very well with this keeping you up to date ting.
The experience of a life time has been and gone within a blink and I have the holiday blues already...

I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to every single person that helped me get over to New York with my sister for a short break last week, I had literally the time of my life & I would go back tomorrow if I could!

Funny thing is, I hate cities, I don't like busy places, and hundreds of people intimidate the fuck out of me. However, in Times Square, I felt completely different, really safe & relaxed almost. 

The Rockerfeller Tree Being Set Up

Central Park

Off to watch Wicked
 The flight there was an absolute nightmare, unfortunately, an hour after take off my stoma became severely blocked and stayed that way for about six and a half hours. I had to make myself urge by sticking my fingers down my throat to force the blockage out, I was in so much pain and tears, I really thought it was going to be the start of a disaster in America. I somehow managed (again) to unblock it without any hospital intervention. We got onto the transfer bus & arrived at our hotel, just after 4pm New York time. 

The Night Hotel

Ghostbusters

Our Bed

A Treat!
 The hotel was beautiful, absolutely made for me, black and white design, photo's everywhere of sexy tattooed models doing naughty things, very sexy and chic, they treated us very well too with a few little extras here and there throughout the stay.

All we seemed to do was think about food, eat food, think about where we were eating next.... The places we visited were just amazing, I really wish they had some of the restaurants over here!! I wanted to be adventurous too, so tried seafood, (which I never eat) Crab, shrimps, Maine lobster & fried catfish - all soooo good!

Pancakes, Bacon & Maple Syrup

Smore

Fried Catfish

Duck Fat Fries

I think one of the best things I ate were my triple cooked duck fat fries, with Monterey jack cheese and fried duck skin - don't think I'd have much of a problem with my calorie intake if they were over here!!

We visited Central Park Zoo, Bryant Park, Macy's, Madam Tussauds , not forgetting my trip to NY Beetle house, the Tim Burton inspired restaurant - being interrupted by Emily (Corpse Bride) and Sweeney Todd was pretty dam cool....

Corpse Bride

Beetle House NY

Sweeney
 I spent a small fortune, well other than on food, my spending money went on Hershays & Dylan's Candy Bar, Disney & Marvel bits, Christmas decorations for the tree & a Pop Hero or five....

Not forgetting our very special day on the Wednesday, being part of the audience at The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon... We got to high five his sweaty little hand & ride the elavator with Kurt from famous band, The Roots.

Love

One...


At our hotel, ready for Beetle House

Two....
 Afterwards, we were whisked down as VIP's for the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting & Christmas Party, it was very posh!!! Not something either of us were prepared for, I was in leggings and a Christmas jumper! We had a bite to eat , then my stoma started playing up again so the police escorted us out, whisked us through the million, yes million! People that were all in the street for the celebration, and we got back to our hotel to watch the rest of it. Unfortunately the pain from the blockage was ridiculous again, I finally got it moving and was out like a light leaving my sister to watch the rest of the lighting on her own. That was my only really bad night over than the flight home. 

M&M Store


Times Square
 We watched Wicked at the Gershwin Theatre on Broadway, one of my favourite evenings, I would love to see some more live shows. Think it really helped our seats were third from the stage! There is so much to tell you I could go on forever but I don't want to bore you tonight... I'm going to stick some photo's up, a few favourites of mine, I doubt they will be in any order so please forgive me but I am so tired and my body clock is a bit fucked from the jet lag!!

VIP's

Ellen's Stardust

Three....
 Without a single doubt, I can honestly tell you it was worth every penny saved, pushing through the pain and walking the seven to thirteen miles a day ! I was so so proud of myself.

I would go back in a heartbeat as there was so much to do, but not much time to do it in. I would recommend it to anyone. If my luck continues, I would even try my very best to go again a year or two down the line but it would take a lot of saving and I would have to be prepared for that. For the moment, I will keep shaking my New York snow globe and reminisce at all the pictures taken.....

Four...

Thor!

Times Square

The Rockerfeller Selfie - sisters



 Every minute cherished..... Thank you <3


Thank you for reading as always xxx

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Lost



Tomorrow will mark two whole weeks since we tragically lost our beautiful baby vamp. Bodacia. A big piece of our world was lost that day & our lives are unbelievably quiet without her. She was a huge presence in the house & it's going to take a long time for us to heal, especially as we would have been celebrating her third Birthday next week on the 1st October. We received her ashes on Wednesday & she is now finally back home with us where she belongs. We love & miss you so so much my darling princess, Sweetdreams..... 



 In my previous blog I started to tell you about a possibility of going on my last ever trip abroad. My sister set up a GoFundMe page to help me with the medical insurance I would have to get to be able to spend four days in New York City. Well, with huge thanks to a special friend who pointed us in the right direction of an awesome travel agent, we were able to book & pay for (ourselves) a four night stay (Monday to Friday) for the end of THIS November.
With the complete overwhelming help & support from friends & strangers who came across my story, we surpassed our target on the GoFundMe & I have been able to pay for the whopping £1536.68 medical insurance I need to cover me whilst I travel. 


This is all down to you guys, I really cannot thank you enough for all the love you have shown me over the last month. It truly has been incredible.

We will be staying in The Night Hotel, Theatre District - Google it, it's made for me! My sister has spoken to the hotel directly & they have upgraded our room, I am sooooo excited. Three of our evenings are already planned / booked. On the Tuesday we are going to watch Wicked on Broadway, Wednesday, we have the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas Tree & on our last night we have a table booked at Tim Burton's themed restaurant, Beetle House NY. The rest of our time will be taken up being a complete tourist, eating, resting, eating, shopping for Nightmare Before Christmas stuff, eating & buying candy!!! I am really worried that I need to stay as well as possible for this trip, anything can happen between now & then but I am still gob smacked that this could actually be happening to me!!!  


 Now recently I have been really struggling with everything. Losing Bo has hit me extremely hard & I am having ongoing problems with my stoma, kidney failure & keeping hydrated. I have hit an all time low, the lowest I have felt in a long, long time. I had an amazing Summer ( celebrating our Birthdays, welcoming Bear into the family & celebrating my five year mile stone ) but everything seems to have taken a huge leap backwards. This maybe able to change in the next few days but I have my concerns.
My kidneys are being absolute fucksticks & although it isn't a fast decline, they are worsening each week. I am constantly being monitored for bloods & have had to increase my St Marks Solution to 24/7 a day (4/5 litre bags) and limit my oral (drinks through the mouth) intake to 1000mls a day. Please, please don't take me wrong when I try to explain this, as you know I am more than grateful for having my life saved by my donor & these lungs really couldn't have done me any prouder. However, for the last year things have just gone down hill. I don't think I have even adjusted to my stoma yet, things went so quickly I just had to get on with it. Which I have, I have bad days but majority of the time I suck it up, Stevies there & he saved my life. I'm alive because of the little shitbag.

It sounds ridiculous but it's the fluid bag that is killing me. Not only do I have to make up the solution myself every time, which at the moment consists of 5 litre bags each time, I also have to be strapped to it, through my mini (feeding tube) 24/7 & watch what I take through the mouth. No matter, it's a fact, I'm used to be stared at for my tattoo's but I hate the strange looks I get from the tube hanging down & the rucksack (which is big & heavy) constantly on my back. You think I would get a break at home, but no, it continues, and often I tend to leave it in the rucksack at home because if I need the toilet or want to make a drink I have to stop & disconnect it from the drip stand. I can't explain to you just how much I hate it. I feel so so trapped & it's rapidly bringing down my confidence. It gets in the way all the time, getting in & out of the car, carrying my normal handbag, stoma stuff & the rucksack... I can't even walk my own puppy without it attached to me. I look like Dora the fucking explorer & feel so ugly. 


 I feel so guilty saying that. I am alive. I am alive because of the stoma & the constant fluid is keeping me alive, BUT it's also dehydrating me. It's a vicious circle that won't seem to end. I just feel like I don't have much quality of life theses days & it makes me really sad to say that because without this, my lungs are doing as good as have been for the last couple of years. My team are being fantastic, I can't fault them. They have never had a case like this before so they are doing all they can do to help, it just feels like I am getting nowhere. Anyway, when I was there yesterday we spoke about a new solution which I said I would give a try. I start it on Monday. I keep to my oral drinking limit of 1000mls a day & then mix this sachet (yey it's pre made!) into 1000mls of water & drink (or put it down my mini) throughout the day. This means, no pump, no carrying around fluid bags, no extra machine in case the one I am using runs out of battery & no fucking rucksack! It also means, I get my nights free of being attached as I am not to have anything through the night. This would literally be LIVE CHANGING. I could feel free again, able to just pop out the house without having to worry about fluids, or blacking out because I risked not taking them. Obviously, as you can imagine I have my concerns, I am finding it hard to swallow that this will all of a sudden work & keep my kidneys reasonably well.... But I said I would try it & that's what I intend. I'm open to anything to regain some of my life back. I really hope you aren't reading this thinking I am an ungrateful prick, I am so happy to still be alive, I thank my stars every day for each breathe I take, it would be just nice for once, to be given a small break.... 

   
Please forgive me recently if you have seen me out & about & I haven't been my normal self, I really am not feeling it these days, on top of a miserable cold I have already caught. I am having my flu jab Monday to try & keep that at bay & will be spending majority of the next few weeks saving my little arse off for NY spending money & wrapped up in cotton wool so I can't contract any more lurgs!!!

Thank you for reading this pretty miserable blog, to all those who donated to my insurance, spread the word & for all your amazing messages, comments & hugs of support. Have a wonderful weekend. I love you xxx


Kim xxx



Thank you for reading as always xxx

Monday, 14 August 2017

FIVE YEARS - WHAT'S NEXT ?!??!!!



I can't believe it's been four months since I last wrote.  I promised I wouldn't let it go this far without updating you all, (those who don't have FB, Instagram etc anyway!) but life seems to have buzzed on by & I haven't written a thing.

I literally have had so much go on recently I just don't know where to start - I'll keep it brief so you don't nod off!
One of my best friends wed. My baby brother got himself married in June to his fiancé Danielle down in Cornwall. Our family grew by one, introducing our baby 'Bear' into the ranks, a Pied French Bulldog. Stefan turned 28, we celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary - I turned 34 & have just recently celebrated FIVE whole years with my lungs by throwing the most amazing bash!!

It has been the most amazing whirlwind of social, stressful events in my life but worth every second!! I literally can't thank everyone enough for all the effort they have put into. Whether it be messages or visits of support, coming along to the party in July or silent thoughts in a few seconds of their day.

The Seven Stars Hotel were outstanding with my needs for the party, Laura in particular I can't thank enough, nothing was too much trouble. Simply Celebrations & Riviera Mascots for helping me with very important 'props' for the night, Ross who kept the music playing & played every single song requested! Claire from Mad Cakes, who made the most amazing cake I think I will ever likely to see or eat !! &.... Razzamatazz Theatre School from Torquay, who's students & staff very kindly helped me put on some very special, unexpected entertainment with the Joker & Batman, and a very unique appearance from Wonder Woman ;) I will never forget the night, the people that turned up, even if I just caught a glimpse of you (I wasn't drinking so I know you were there!) the effort you put into just to come & see me was something I will never ever forget. Thank you so much ..................

The party was so spectacular that I even made the local press with a lovely piece written by Anita, and again this week, (hopefully to be printed on Wednesday) a follow up piece on an amazing fundraising campaign my sister has started for me to raise some money for holiday insurance.


I have wanted to have a little break for so long. Before I got so poorly I loved having a little holiday here & there, but the last time I went away was our honeymoon, just before I was listed on the transplant list. America has always been one of my dream places to visit, especially with all my favourites I'm into, Superheroes, Nightmare Before Christmas etc! We always said we would try to go so Lauren looked into a four day break for us both, it looks do-able if we both save like mad for the trip, but then she looked into my medical insurance & it was more than the actual trip! I wrote it off, like I have many an idea about breaks in the past...
But to my surprise, my sister has started a campaign to try & help pay for the medical insurance I need to be able to go away. 'Fairytale In New York!'



Everyone has been so so kind, I am totally overwhelmed & really don't have the words to put into just how much it means to me - From the bottom of my heart again, thank you!!! 

 

I could shit on about turning 34 & just how have much I have cried recently about still being alive, but I want to keep this one brief, I think the newspaper articles pretty much say it for me so I'll end it here & add some piccies - but I promise you I will update more regularly from now on.... Please do keep in touch & say hi once in a while, I really do appreciate every single person that reads this blog & likes my posts. Your support is never taken for granted, love you all so much!!!!!

Kim xxx


My Birthday Cake Stefan Had Made For Me


My Hero

At My Brother's Wedding



Ben & Danielle On Their Wedding Day


Siblings

My AMAZING Cake!!!

Lauren & I At My Bash

My Kids



Beautiful Baby Bear

Yesterday..... Love Me xxxx




Thank you for reading as always xxx