My Husband, Stefan (Stiffy)

Although he won’t like me posting this, I thought I’d write a short blog on just how lucky I am to have found someone like my husband.

I always put up little posts up on my face book status’ but I don’t think people realise the hard work my husband puts into caring for me.

It was only six months ago he left his roofing job, he was self employed, yet he still took on every burden on top of that to take care of me when I wasn’t well enough. We have now been together only a few days short of two years. Some people may think that’s not long enough, and in July we were married, but I honestly think, once you’ve made that ‘connection’ with someone you’ll know…

Because things became more difficult with my illness, and Stef himself, was particularly unhappy with not being able to bring in money when it rained or he was off sick / on holiday, he decided to look for another job.

I had to give up work last year, which I was devastated about, and I wish I could still work now. It breaks my heart when I see people’s comments about scabbing off the ‘tax payers‘ , believe you me, I’d take your place at work any day of the week if you’d rather take this illness in replacement… & as my fellow Cf’ers will know, we don’t get much to live off at all, not when rent or mortgage arrears, bills and actual ‘living costs’ are to contend with…

Anyway, Stef found a position working nights, he’d be around to care for me through the day, get a fraction more at night and at least be paid as employed when he took holiday.
It’s really hard for us both because we miss each other so much, but I have numbers to call and visitors at night to make sure I’m ok...

But to put my point across, my husband is six years younger than me, at only 22 years old, he’s taken me, and all of my problems. I’ve not been able to do hoovering or washing since I became really poorly in 2009 and used to have my carer Jane, before Stef moved in. Since then he has always done this.

However, much more than this, especially recently as I‘ve become so unwell, he cooks, cleans, tends to my iv’s, change’s my dressings, put’s out my medications, he washes my hair, (he crimps my hair) and dresses me, to name but just a few... 
This, and still working many hours in employment, without any reward, but seeing me struggle and become more and more poorly.

My husband is amazing, I can’t believe I have been so lucky to have found someone so supportive, to give as much as he does and never accept anything back. Some people may comment that it ‘is love for you‘, but seriously, when your put in the position yourself, I think some days I‘d even want to walk away, I hate having to be washed and dressed, so it must kill Stefan to see me so poorly that I’m unable to be the stubborn bitch that reminds him of when he first met…

I know in the past, people have judged my husband, but no ones knows what has happened in our lives. To me, he is the most understanding, supportive loving and caring person in the world, I’m am so lucky and extremely grateful - I couldn’t live without you Stefan, you truly are my rock xxxx

Stefan & I, the night before my first tx appointment at Harefield