If I am honest I was in a very dark place, feelings of sadness, anger & guilt came over me in waves & as much as I tried to stay focused on my own life, at times it just over took everything & I couldn't see straight at all. I guess I was looking for answers I wouldn't have answered & other people's actions also angered me to the point I spiralled into my depression pit. I didn't attend Kerry's funeral sadly but Josh & Kerry's mum knew I was there in spirit, I sent a little gift to Josh to let him know I was thinking of them all. As far as I know she had a wonderful send off & her charity / trust that Josh & the family have set up in her name & memory is going from strength to strength. That being said, I knew it was time for me to dig my way out again & look towards my future. The way I was acting was unfair on my husband & close people round me & Kerry would have been tanning my ass if she saw how I was behaving.
The Memory Box I Had Made
For Josh
Since then, slowly things have been going quite well for me. I had Harefield clinic a few weeks back & although I didn't get to see Dr Carby, Simone was extremely happy with my progress. My lung function is slowly creeping up, my bloods were all good & I have never had so many nice compliments of how well I was looking, if all goes well I am not back there til June.
April Nails - Zee Zebra
I have now taken up Tai Chi as well as Kung Fu & seem to be doing quite well in both. It'll obviously take time to become any good at it but I am enjoying myself & that is the main thing, I really think it is benefiting me in all ways round with regards to my healh & well being & I have also made some lovely new friends in the class that I can have a giggle with...
My gorgeous dogs have kept me busy & smiling throughout the whole of my miserable phase. Kaos is doing brilliantly with his training & Kimba is as good as gold with him now & they love to play with each other. They really have put so much light back into our lives. I don't know how we lived without a doggie's love before...
On The Moors With My
Bullies Monday 21st April 2014
Balcony Selfie!
We have had our very first egg clutch from one of our normal royal pythons, it was very exciting to wake up to that sight, six pearly whites & they are now cooking in the incubator.
I have been able to spend some lovely quality time with my husband too & he spoit me rotten over the Easter weekend with a surprise! A beautiful new baby! In the form of a harlequin crested gecko (hopefully as the colours develop in age he/she might be a Halloween) It's as cute as hell & I've named it Crisis!
Crisis The Crestie
I am slowly feeling a lot better about things & feel very lucky to have such a beautiful animal family & husband that supports me so much, not to mention the friends that have been there & given me an honest slap around the face when I have needed it.
I have CF clinic tomorrow, they know not a thing about whats being going on lately so it should be interesting, but I am really hoping they will be happy with how I am looking after myself. I have not been admitted to hospital as in inpatient for just over 4 months now & really hope I can keep it up. I just need to stay focused & happy....
My Thunder & I
19th April 2014
I will of course keep you posted with anything up & coming, until then...
Thank you as always for taking the time to read, I hope you all had a lovely Easter. xxx
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