Heartbreak & Devastation. Sweetdreams My Beautiful Girl xxx

I thought I would never have to write this blog. I have been so happy of late & my last blog was so upbeat it's heartbreaking to have to put this down in words but it's something that needs to be said. It will be one of the hardest I have ever written, so I will keep it short & to the point but please bear with...

Kerry Thorpe. The name should ring a bell as I have often spoken of her through my blog & on my facebook... A beautiful soul inside & out that battled with Cystic Fibrosis. Kerry was listed on the transplant list in the hope for new lungs two years ago... She fought & fought & waited & waited.... She celebrated her 23rd birthday in hospital just last week with her family, only a few days later, on Friday 21st March at 9.20pm, she passed away. Surrounded by her family, fiancee Josh & her beautiful doggies, she is no longer suffering, but this should never have happened...

Kerry, last week celebrating

her 23rd Birthday in hospital

Kerry was an ambassador & the poster girl, for Life Live Then Give Life's 'I'd Give You One' Campaign, to promote organ donation. She was dedicated to raising awareness to both Cystic Fibrosis & people needing a transplant. Although we were obviously restricted with regards to meeting & 'hanging out' because of our CF & the fact she lived in Ipswich, Kerry became a very important person in my life over the last few years. She was there in my darkest hours, knew all my fears & secrets & would know how to make me smile in the small hours of the morning when the world was sleeping... I would like to think that I was just as special to her as she was to me.

Kerry, Tinkerbell & Milly-Mia

Kerry was engaged to Josh, her fantastic fiancee who has been there through thick & thin, someone just like my Stef, who I think are a very special find, people like them are far & inbetween. She has 2 beautiful doggies that were her entire world, Tinkerbell & Milly-Mia, who would never leave there mummy's side. We bonded particularly because of our love for animals.... Our communication wasn't as frequent towards the end because she became so poorly. However, the beautiful girl, would still find the strength to send me a message (she would joke at the end about how long her essay was) & even when she was too ill to talk we would speak through Josh...

Only a few weeks ago I promised her that when she got her new lungies, the first thing we would do is take our doggies for a walk on the beach, (I told Josh to tell her about the woofs that she would soon meet) breathe in the fresh air & run around like lunatics with the pups. I am absolutely devastated that this now will never happen.

http://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/gallery_tributes_pour_in_after_brave_kerry_thorpe_loses_fight_against_cystic_fibrosis_1_3479357

Only the other day, (the day she tragically passed actually) I posted on my facebook that I wouldn't be particpating in the Cancer No Make Up Selfie Campaign because CF was closer to my heart & needed more awareness. I should have actually retracted that statement & written that organ donation does too, as this is why my beautiful friend never got her second chance.

I am not taking her passing at all well, (heaven knows what Josh & her family are going through) Stefan has been a huge support over the last few days but nothing can take away the hurt. I go into fits of rage god knows how many times a day, why? Why the hell didn't Kerry get her chance? Two years?? Two years waiting, fighting, empty promises, she was only 23! If ANYONE deserved those lungs she did. She was so beautiful inside & out, she had everything to live for & it was just taken from her.... I really can't put into words how sorry I am for Josh, Jacqui (Kerry's mum) & the rest of her family & friends, however we are not going to let her name & legacy she has left ever be forgotten...

I have briefy spoken with Josh & Kerry's mum since Friday & when things aren't so raw, I will be talking to them about Kerry's wishes, anything she wanted to achieve or do if she was given her second chance, & I will do my dam hardest to carry it out in memory of the amazing inspiration she was... Josh even mentioned that we could somehow still walk the doggies, which I think she would absolutely love... He has also set up The Kerry Thorpe Trust in memory of her & to continue her awareness & fundraising... Together, we will make sure my amazing beautiful friend will never ever be forgotten & her death wasn't in vain.

https://www.facebook.com/thekerryalexthorpetrust

Rest in peace my stunning angel - will miss you loads Kez xxxxxx

Kerry & Josh - Incredible Couple

That I Only Hope Stefan & I Can Aspire To Be...

Before I sign out I will leave you with some pics of my entire world. Very strangely, we picked up Kaos the night Kerry passed... They, as well as Stefan, have been the only thing keeping me going over the last few days... xxx

Kaos & Kimba

Kaos, 7 & A Half Weeks Old

Snoozing Puppy Dogs

Thank you as always for taking the time to read. xxx