Day Before Harefield

Tomorrow I’m off to Harefield for clinic and review since having last been seen at my transplant assessment back in November.
I’m really nervous about what they are going to say and have had a fair few emotional days leading up to it.

My lungs are really behaving badly now and I’ve been really poorly the last few week’s. I’m now on constant O2 at the moment as as soon as I have to move to go to the toilet or just try and get myself comfortable I have an horrendous coughing fit and cannot get my breathe, it take‘s me ages to feel rested again.

My chest aches constantly and every so often I get stabbing pains, nights are unbearable. I love my sleep but I can’t lie down and not even O2 eases me.
I’ve started using my bi-pap even more the last few days just to try and give my lungs a rest.

Stefan’s got a week off work and we’ve been having a lot of heart to hearts. Things are getting on top of me at the moment, I don’t feel well at all and I’m just so scared about the future. I need to stay positive but it’s hard to stay strong at times, when you don’t know what’s going on or what’s going to happen…

I’ve been having a few nightmares and bad visions which haven’t done me any good and think I have pretty much cried myself a river in the last 3 days!!

I had a really nice afternoon yesterday seeing a good friend who came to see us both and then on my portable O2, Stef took me out and we met our friend Marc and had a bite to eat in a pub. It was really good to put things a side for a short few hours and just have a laugh but I really paid for it when I got home and had a bad night of pains and not being able to breathe again.

Having a very quiet day just resting again today and preparing for the long day ahead tomorrow. Think we’ll have a nice dinner tonight courtesy of Dominoes and will try and get an early night as will be up and out around 5am.

Really hoping I get some good news, will keep you guys posted….